The merc with a mouth's personal assistant

theonus:

roflandtroll:

littlewhitely:

*salivates profusely* 

*Very, very heavy breathing* 

*Orgasm*

hoplite-operator:

gracefullikeagazelle:

knives-and-pipes:

upgraders:

most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person 

image there’s a tool for that

I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?

I’m so hungry I could eat a horse

hoplite-operator:

hoplite-operator:

boyzwhat:

Number 2 *I’m crying

"What the *#@! are you gonna do? Stab me?"
- Caesar, 44 B.C.

"This play is so *#@!ing boring I could blow my brains out."- Lincoln, 1865

hoplite-operator:

hoplite-operator:

boyzwhat:

Number 2 *I’m crying

"What the *#@! are you gonna do? Stab me?" - Caesar, 44 B.C.

"This play is so *#@!ing boring I could blow my brains out."
- Lincoln, 1865

caribeaux:

caribeaux:

drdavidbrinner:

how do you know youre asexual if you havent had sex???

how do you know you arent sexually attracted to toothpaste if youve never slathered your genitalia with it and shoved the tube up your anus????

how do you know?????

You have some shockingly good points. Just a second

Update: I am not sexually attracted to toothpaste

710642:

well? can he????

710642:

well? can he????

sassykardashian:

sailingonsuccess:

sassykardashian:

Science side of tumblr how do I become a jellyfish

Jellyfish have no brains. You’re already pretty close.

Okay WOW